"My Little Girl"

Posted on 15 September 2016

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As my husband and I walked our daughter to school on her first day, I tried to follow the advice of her teacher from orientation the day before who advised us not to make the drop off a big deal and let her quickly go in to the building.  When she was whisked away from me as I said goodbye I moved away from the commotion at the door to allow other kids to enter but also so that she wouldn't turn around, see me and run back out.  Selfishly, I didn't want her to see me get emotional, because I wasn't exactly sure that I could keep it together if she started to cry.  When she didn't do any of the above I was filled with mixed emotions.  Proud that my baby girl was growing up and sad that my baby girl was growing up and already so independent.

A moment later I ran back to the door to see if she had made it up the stairs ok and that's when I saw a herd of children all running up the stairs.  The only thing I could think was did she make it up before these children started running up the stairs, did she get hurt?  Is she in class sitting at her desk already?  What if she did turn around and saw that we weren't there and thought we just abandoned her so quickly.  I must say I was sick to my stomach about it all day.  It crossed my mind to call the school and ask if she was definitely in class or to somehow just ask if I could go peek into her classroom and see if she was okay, but I figured they would definitely label me as a "helicopter mom" and not like it any time they saw me coming.  I convinced myself that if she wasn't in class they would have called me to find out why she wasn't so I went to the gym instead to get my mind off of things and wait until it was time to pick her up.

When the time came I found myself running to get there because instead of being 15 minutes early like every other mother that was there to pick up their kids on the first day of school I was planning on getting there at the exact time of dismissal.  I'm not really sure why I thought this was a good idea, especially on her first day, but it didn't cross my mind to do otherwise .  

As my luck would have it the teacher started dismissal early, I was the last one to pick up their kid.   Sophia, unscathed told me minimal about her day.  She didn't really want to talk about it too much.  She did tell me that one boy didn't have a uniform on and didn't understand why she had to wear one.  I guess that really stuck with her since when she started to get dressed that morning with the dress she had picked out, she wasn't very happy when I told her she had to wear a uniform and that all the kids would be wearing one. 

Happily we had survived our first day!  Now what?  Well we continued our daily activities and went to swimming that day, had lunch, danced, and played.  As the day went on she opened up and continued to tell me more and more about her new experience.  She seemed happy to be starting school and excited to go back the next day.  I was proud that not a tear had been shed that day.  Then just as we were saying good night and laying in bed about to read her a bed time story she turned to me and said "Mommy, I was a little sad today" when I asked why she answered " I didn't think you were going to come back and get me"...and then the tears came.  Mine...not hers!


"Gotta hold on easy as I let you go.
Gonna tell you how much I love you, though you think you already know.
I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm.
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born.
You're beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl."...'My Little Girl', Tim McGraw


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